Strange the things you never notice, because no one tells you to. If it were somehow perverse, like, touching yourself in public, your parents would surely say “that is something we do in private dear, or that is a sin if you ever do that again your hand will fall off and you will go to hell.” Either way we get the message that touching ourselves in public is not ok.
This morning I was on my way to work when I noticed a Hostess delivery truck in front of the supermarket. It made me nostalgic for a simpler time before hydrogenated oil was tantamount to rat poison, a time when me & my Papa could share a Twinkie or 4 and not think about the cancer it was feeding.
When I got to work I still had Hostess on the brain so I randomly asked a co-worker what his favorite kind was and it lead to a realization, one I am sure thousands of Americans have had before me, Hostess is pornographic.
Twinkies are phallic and cream filled, in fact most of their products are cream filled and what about some of their names:
- Ding Dongs
- Twinkies
- Fruit Pies
- Honey Buns
- Ho-hos
- Snowballs
- Cup cakes
I will never be able to watch a child or a relative, for that matter, eat a Hostess Cake again without feeling slightly dirty.
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